I will be taking a couple of days off from posting to my blog. Yesterday, my beloved dog, Buddy, passed away. He was 16 years old and he was the best dog I ever knew. We rescued him when he was 3 years old and he was my constant companion. Buddy spent most of his time just laying at my feet or following me around from room to room. I will miss him tremendously and my heart is really hurting right now. Buddy was kind and gentle, but loved me fiercely. He was adored by everyone who met him. He was truly the perfect dog for me and when he passed away, he took a big chunk of my heart with him. I loved him more than I ever believed I could love a pet.
My home feels very empty now and incredibly quiet. The noises I hear are no longer him. My children are all grown up and moved out a couple years ago to start their own lives, so the "empty nest syndrome" has just become more real to me. I find myself a bit lost. I'm still looking behind my chair before I scoot back, or checking under my recliner footrest to make sure he's not there before I put my feet down. And each time it hits me that he won't ever be there again. I'm no hurry to wipe his nose-prints off the patio door, and it's okay with me that I'll be finding his fur on everything I own for months to come.
I'm working through my loss by slowly cleaning up his belongings to donate, gathering up what's left of his food and treats, and keeping a few small things of his, like his collar and his favorite blue ball. I'll never forget how lovingly he used to just sit and watch me, how he would nuzzle his nose up to me to have his ears and neck scratched, or how he would roll over to have his belly rubbed and point his toes when I obliged. Buddy was always so excited when I walked in the door, even if I was only gone five minutes. I know he will be waiting for me at the gates of heaven, wagging his tail, when my time has come.
Goodbye Buddy, my sweet boy. I'm so blessed to have had you in my life. I hope you know how much I loved you back. I will see you on the other side.