3/9/15

Today My Daughter Married Her Girlfriend

Parenting is never easy. My kids have challenged me from the day they were born. They are all grown now and I was surprised to learn that parenting adult children is much more of a challenge than when they were young. It's much easier to control what your children do when they live in your house, but when you release them out into the world to become their own persons, you no longer have that option. I did my best as a parent, but I'm certain I failed many times. I do know that I gave them the tools to take on life with fierce determination and the belief that God is with them every step of the way.

Today my daughter married her girlfriend.

My daughter told me she was gay when she was in middle school. My strong religious background always taught me that gay sexuality was wrong, so she dated boys in high school. Once she was out on her own, she made her own choices. I have never stopped loving her and never will. When she announced in January that she was engaged to marry her girlfriend, I went through every emotion known to mankind. My biggest struggle wasn't that she was marrying a female, although that was certainly part of it, but that they had only known each other a couple months. Since gay marriage is not legal here in Texas yet, they drove to Oklahoma to be married today. My husband and I, as well as our two sons, will be attending their reception.
After searching my heart, I have decided to choose love. I will love my daughter's wife in the same way I will love my sons' future wives. My children are now adults and are responsible to God for their own hearts and their own lives. I am responsible for mine, and I will choose to love.

Congratulations to you both!

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 
John 13:34-35 (NIV)
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43 comments:

  1. Congratulations! I really hope Texas will legalize gay marriage sooner rather than later. I have had many friends have to go to other states to get married.

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    1. I believe Texas will legalize it soon.

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  2. Lisa, I can only imagine the struggle you faced but I'm happy to hear you've chosen love. I believe it's not our place to judge but rather love one another. Congratulations to your daughter and new DIL!

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    1. I'd much rather have love in my heart.

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  3. It is definitely a hard thing for you I am sure, but you are choosing the right thing. We are to love and let Jesus decide the rest! <3

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  4. Congratulations to them and to you on your new daughter-in-law. :-)

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    1. I am looking forward to meeting her.

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  5. What an amazing and supportive mom you are. I, too, hold on to my religious beliefs but I'd like to think I'd be open minding and loving if my daughter told me this news. I'd much rather have her in my life and happy than have her not be in my life due to decisions that I disagree with. Many blessings to you and your family!

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    1. I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

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  6. Congratulations, both for a new member of the family as well as the decision to just keep on loving. I don't know what God is going to tell all of us when we get to heaven, but I'd rather stick with people who are willing to love first!

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    1. I hope my decision makes God smile today.

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  7. Being the daughter of a Catholic father and mother and also a lesbian I can speak volumes to this!!! My parents were shocked when I came out (I had previously been engaged to a man) but when they truly thought about it they knew that it was pretty obvious I was lesbian and had been playing the role I thought I should be. Fast forward 11 years since my coming out, I am married to the love of my life and we are two moms to a beautiful 20 month old little girl.
    I'm Thankful for my loving and accepting family and for my wife's family. We are a very blessed and most importantly ACCEPTED couple.
    I'm so glad that my family realizes that I was BORN this way, nothing they did, nothing I did, changed that for me, I never MADE a choice to live this life, it is the hand that God dealt me and I'm living my life to the very fullest!!!!

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    1. As a regular reader of YOUR blog, I have watched your journey and on more than one occasion, I considered reaching out to you about it. I have loved watching your beautiful child grow through the photos you've posted.

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  8. Congratulations. It is a beautiful thing to accept your children as they are. I wish them many happy years together.

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  9. #LoveIsLove Congratulations! <3

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  10. As you know as your mom and Heather's gramma I also struggled with enotions but never stopped loving. I accept her choice and support her and am sure I will love Toni too. God bless them both.

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    1. I am blessed to have grown up in a faith-based home, where my own parents loved and supported me regardless of my choices.

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  11. Congratulations! God is smiling down on you today!

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  12. You are a wonderful mom! But I have to agree with what you said about that it is easier when the kids are young and we have control. It is difficult to let go and let them make decisions and choices about life, their employment and future husbands and wives. Good luck to all!
    twinkle at optonline dot net

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    1. Letting go is definitely a very hard thing to do.

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  13. Congratulations to them both, and congratulations to you for the new daughter!

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    1. It was wonderful to meet her tonight.

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  14. It breaks my heart when I hear of parents that disowned their gay child. I won't say that it wouldn't bother me to learn that my child was gay, but I think mostly because I probably wouldn't have any grandchildren from them, but that is changing too. I have a couple of first cousins that are gay and learned recently that a second cousin is also. All females. I could never turn my back on them. If your daughter knew she was gay in middle school, then it was more than just a choice. She didn't just choose to be gay. She will need your love and support even more than a straight child and I'm so glad you love her so dearly. I wish them many happy years together.

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    1. I could never turn my back on her. It was she who made me a mother. I'm lucky to have her in my life.

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  15. Thank you so much to everyone! It means a lot to me to hear all of your kind words.

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    1. What a brave post, Lisa. This is my favorite kind of post to read. Real ones. Good for you to choose love. I'd do the same if I were in your shoes. Thankfully, we serve an awesome God!

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    2. The real posts are always the hardest ones to write.

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  16. Hey Lisa I commented once but I think I exited before pressing publish so I apologize if this comment is a duplicate! I wish them both much happiness. There was a time (long ago) when my path took me through many challenges and a lot of hurt feelings when dealing with someone I loved who is gay. I am positive all of that happened for a reason. He and I are the best of friends now and he is so happy with his partner --- there's no way I could begrudge him that happiness or living the life he is intended to live. That's a long way of saying, "good for you for choosing to love."

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    1. Thank you. Happiness is what we all want, right?

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  17. Equality for all. Love is love, and the looks on your daughter and her wife's face prove that. Cheers to them!

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  18. We love because He first loved us! Cograts, mama.

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  19. Congratulations to your daughter! She's lucky to have a mom like you!

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    1. Thank you. I like to think we're lucky to have each other.

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  20. Lisa - Congratulations to your daughter!! It was so hard for our family when my child came out as trangender, let alone when she told us later she was also a lesbian. Knowing our children are living as their true selves makes it all worth it. I'm so glad you are able to support your daughter's marriage!!
    Teressa at Window on the World

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    1. Life never quite goes as we think it will. Some of the most challenging parts of parenting are also the parts that make us grow the most, don't you think?

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  21. Congrats! I dont care who my kids love as long as they are WELL loved in return!

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