Living in my own Little World
It's been part of my blog since the beginning - "Living in my own little world." Initially, I thought it was a cute slogan given the fact that I rarely left my house due to my work, given the fact that I was running a home daycare for little people, and given the fact that I knew my focus should be here on my family. Today, it means something different to me. Today I realized the deeper meaning in it that God wanted me to find.
In the past couple of weeks, I've been dealing with feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. It's been rather surprising to me because I haven't had to cope with those emotions in a long, long time. I've mentioned it several times to my husband the past few days because I recognized the jealousy and I hate dealing with that monster. I've prayed over it, asking God to help me be thankful for MY gifts, but jealousy kept trying to seep into my heart. In the past, I've used it to motivate me to work harder, work smarter, and work longer. Now I know that's not what I should be doing.
As I was reading email this morning, I found this post - For When You Feel Jealous - and I felt God calling me to read it. I even smiled when I saw the subject line because sometimes I think I'm so oblivious to His messages that He has to smack me in the face with them. As I read the post I felt God speaking to me, telling me to focus on "living in my own little world" in a more meaningful way. In her article, Tsh talked about liking her own abundant "slice" and also linked to another post - What a hundred lifeguards taught me about my calling - and I felt that heavenly nudge to go read it as well.
Emily's message dove deep into my heart - "The fact that you can’t cover the whole pool at once doesn’t mean you are a failure, it just means you have the wrong goal." It actually brought tears to my eyes because it made me realize I'd lost sight of my initial goal - Living in my own Little World (and making it better for those who share it with me...and that includes everyone who reads my ramblings...aka YOU). Now, I feel refreshed by God. He's given me a way to cope with these feelings I don't like to feel rising up in my heart.